Hello all.

Writer/producer/actor Michael Schur of The Office will be our guest on this week’s podcast. He’s a two-time Emmy award winner. He has appeared in three episodes of The Office as Dwight’s cousin Mose Schrute. But more importantly, he writes for the critically acclaimed website FireJoeMorgan.com under the name Ken Tremendous (which is the real reason we’re having on the podcast — to talk about baseball and basketball and blogging).

The podcast will be online Thursday at 8:30. It will be awesome.

That is all.

(NOTE: You can see plenty of Mike — the bearded guy — in the opening 4:50 of this clip.)

I, Larkins, am still on record as saying the Raptors will lose in five to the Magic. However, the Philadelphia 76ers destroyed, or rather I should say the Detroit Pistons, destroyed my bold proclamation that the Sixers were out in five after “catching lightning in a bottle” with a Game 1 vic.

 The Sixers, despite a crowd that bordered on catatonic, used their home-court advantage and took a 2-1 lead in a series few people expected to be remotely compelling. And even with the underdog up, I don’t think you can sugget it IS compelling. But we like the underdog at The Scrum, so the fact that the Sixers are somehow holding the upper hand on the indifferent Pistons, has us right riled up.

But, one thing, people: Did no one in sports-crazy Philadelphia get the memo? Are they so beaten down by three decades without a champion that they just have given up on their pro basketball team? Were the Flyers or Phantoms practising somewhere? There is no explanation for the empty seats at Wachovia Center other than this franchise has done everything in its power to alienate what is a loyal, almost maniacal, fan base.

 Which brings us to Toronto, a city that welcomed back with home arms and mucho amore its team that was so unabashedly bad in its two games on the road. The Raptor fans were reminiscent of those movies of small-town basketball when the entire populace converges on the local diner to welcome back the high school team that just lost in State. They were raucous, among the loudest home fans these playoffs, and they helped will their Raps to a critical Game 3 win that once again gave hope that Toronto could win this series if it can hold court.

But, you might say, they still have to WIN A GALL DANG GAME ON THE ROAD!!!!

The Game 3 Theory applied itself in Dallas and Toronto where the home team returns after two losses on the road — buoyed by being back in the friendly confines — and rallies for a potentially-series-altering win in the most critical of games. Only, more often than not, those games don’t end up being series-altering.

They just end up being series-prolonging.

In the end, we still believe the strong survive.

An interview with Simon Fraser Clan guard Jordan Nostedt; a look at the opening week of the NBA playoffs; plus an episode of Blindside featuring thoughts on sports riots, Juno, and Rafael Belliard.

 

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Continuing our “coverage” of the NBA post-season, a couple of thoughts on the Toronto-Orlando series that is officially into panic mode for the Raptors.

Sure you’re only down 2-0, a less-than-enviable position, but not one that necessarily requires hysteria in areas around the Gardiner Expressway. At the same time, the Raptors have only shown a sign of life at brief moments during the series and I’m losing faith in Sam Mitchell as a coach. I know, it’s shocking.

First off, Toronto had a chance to roll over and play dead after another atrocious first quarter but they’re full marks for responding in the second, closing to within two at the half and then not letting Orlando pull away in the third when the lead hovered around seven to nine points. They battled back, knocked down some big shots and eventually gave themselves a chance to win.

So close your eyes Raptors fans, what I’m about to say won’t go over well.

Chris Bosh ain’t clutch.

Now, this is not a derogatory comment on his importance to that team. It’s quite clear that he’s the most valuable player on that team and his 29-10-6 line was a solid playoff stat. But Bosh was given the reins on the Raptors final two trips and came up empty both times, the first go-round a wing-to-lane drive against Dwight Howard that ended with Bosh absorbing a bit of contact and then losing control of the ball in mid-air. The final trip, after a time out, with nine seconds left, ended with Bosh settling for a 19-foot jump shot over Howard that ended the game when it biffed and fell into Orlando’s possession.

Jose Calderon had scored eight of the Raptors’ final 15 points and Carlos Delfino had six of the final 15, yet it was Bosh who the Raptors drew things up for in that final time out. So they ran the screen and roll, which created nothing, and then Bosh settled for a shot on the most important possession of the team’s season.

The results were predictable.

Bosh didn’t look like a player who wanted the ball in his hands in those final two minutes or so, but he’s not the one to blame for that final possession. All he did was miss a shot he probably shouldn’t have been lined up to take anyway.

How on earth the Raptors go into a time out — you know, the place where you plan your plays? — and come out with a play I wouldn’t even recommend you run during a video game is beyond me. Yet Mitchell did it.

Maybe it was a breakdown somewhere, but how the Raptors bungled that possession is unacceptable. Nine seconds is a world of time and they not only wasted that but also a great opportunity for a road split.

A few rambling thoughts while taking stock of the first weekend of NBA playoffs.

• The NBA “Where (fill in blank) happens” series of ads has served more as comedy fodder for fans than it has resonated as a clever campaign. That said, clearly, the best commercial in the series has been Mikki Moore’s spot.

(Hey… while we’re honouring Nebraska alumni not in the NBA playoffs, a special shout out to Tyronn Lue, Erick Strickland and Eric Piatkowski, the latter of whom is officially in the playoffs with the Phoenix Suns but playing about as significant a role in helping his team winning a title as Swatter right about now. Also, a special The Scrum shout to Fox West Los Angeles Lakers colour man Stu Lantz, a former Husker.)

• A trend I’m a bit tired of in the NBA playoffs is the “Host City Handing Out Same-Coloured T-Shirts In Attempt To Create Atmosphere.” Golden State last year, Cleveland, Houston and — most embarrassingly — New Orleans, this year. The Hornets couldn’t even fill their seats (umm, playoffs?) and then the aquamarine blue t-shirts were speckled throughout the crowd. Listen, if you can’t just create the hype by telling your fans to all wear red, or white or whatever, then cram the idea. It’s not impressive if everyone wears a shirt you handed out to them when they entered the building.

• We have our first shocker of the first games with Philadelphia beating No. 2 Detroit in the east. The Pistons led by as many as 15 but the Sixers chipped away, took the lead and then got buck-naked lucky as Detroit blew two glorious chances to take the lead in the final minute. Tayshaun Prince missed a 14-foot jumper (should’ve pump-faked and taken a step to create space) and 6-foot-11 Rasheed Wallace missed a gimme lay-up after that. Additionally, Chauncey Billups, a 91.8 per cent FT shooter this season, missed three free ones in the fourth quarter.

Perhaps the reason why the Pistons are somewhat under the radar in discussions about who will come out of the East is because they have a tendency to go away. When they’re on, they’re as tough as anyone in the NBA. But they don’t always seem to be all that concerned with being on. That said, look at what had to happen for Philadelphia to win that game. From the blown lead, to the two missed chances to Chauncey missing free throws to the Detroit crowd performing like they were in the observation deck at a frontal lobotomy, it all feels like lightning in a bottle to me. Detroit wins the next four.

• The only less intriguing first-round match-up is Boston and Atlanta, a series that feels like it shouldn’t even happen. If Atlanta gets within double digits on the final scoresheet of any of these four game (no way this doesn’t end up a sweep), then the Hawks should consider that a moral victory and build to next year. And anything less than a series win might not be enough to keep Mike Woodson from losing his job as head coach. Gotta love professional sports.

• The series giving BOS-ATL a run for its — uhhhh, forget it, money seems like too strong a word for something so devoid of any value — is Utah and Houston. In a battle of Western No. 4 vs. No. 5, the Jazz made it clear that the series of the two most closely-seeded teams is by no means that close come gametime. Utah dominated Game 1 and Houston is back to looking like the team that would never have been a playoff squad if not for their ridiculous mid-season 22-game win streak that made them relevant for about the span of, oh, 22 games.

(Side note: Another one of those Mac vs PC commercials just came on TV. Let’s begin a pool in the comment section as to when those commercials will actually end. Also, not even the Mac vs PC battle is as one-sided as the Boston-Atlanta series. If Boston were Mac, Atlanta is a Commodore Vic20.)

• Which team in the NBA’s Western Conference is worse at defending? Phoenix or Denver? Well, the stats say Denver but Phoenix was exposed in its loss at San Antonio on Saturday, too.

Los Angeles’ Pau Gasol scored 36 points and added another 16 rebounds for the Lakers in a 128-114 win on Sunday. More alarming about that 128 is the fact that Kobe Bryant had but four points at halftime. More alarming about that 36 of Gasol’s is the fact they almost all came in the form of lay-ups and dunks. Gasol made two field goals outside of the key and attempted just five for the game. Everything else was in that coloured little box that teams are supposed to want to protect.

Meanwhile, the Suns watched the Spurs hit two game-extending three-pointers in regulation and overtime, and then sat idly by as the Spurs scored a lay-up with just a couple of seconds remaining in double overtime to win the game. Phoenix put its best backcourt defender — Leandro Barbosa — on Manu Ginobili and the quick Brazilian watched Ginobili dribble past him to his left and hit an easy lay-in to win the game. For the record, there were four other Suns on the floor at the time, but you might not have noticed that if you were watching the actual play because none of them were … y’know… involved in the play. Just bystanders to a colossal meltdown that the Suns might just end up regretting.

• Finally, the Chuck Swirsky Suicide Watch is on. The play-by-play man for the Toronto Raptors who reacts to Raps losses like someone violated him in a bus station bathroom, was his usual homer self on Sunday as Toronto dropped Game 1 to Orlando. The No. 6 Raptors were a popular pick to pull off a first-round upset and sure they might still do it. (For the record, Larkins picked Orlando in five). But ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith — whose best moments in broadcasting have come when he’s ripping on the Dinos — called Toronto “soft as Cottonelle” and holds no faith whatsoever that Sam Mitchell’s crew can get to the second round.

Nor do I.

I don’t know that they’re necessarily soft, per se (although Andrea Bargnani becomes more useless by the day, Jamario Moon is a D-leaguer in disguise and Rasho Nesterovic has conned fans into believing he’s a useful tool, when in fact he’s just a tool), but this is not a line-up that breeds confidence. And what seems to not be discussed often enough is that this is a team — a .500 team — that went 25-16 at home, but an ugly 16-25 on the road this season. Stephen A. would call that soft.

Come to think of it, he’s probably right.

Swatter and Larkins are joined by former Brandon Bobcat stars Gilford Cheung and Aaron Mitchell to talk about the NBA playoffs and their favorite memories from the Wheat City. It’s the funniest podcast you’ll hear this year, guaranteed. Plus, Swatter watches the Montreal Canadiens lose to the Boston Bruins (and slowly descends into depression).

 

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An interview with newly appointed Brandon University men’s basketball coach Keith Vassell; an apology for last week’s podcast; thoughts on the Masters, the NHL playoffs, and the opening week of the MLB season; plus, an episode of Blindside featuring another question for the ages: Who’d make a better CIS coach, Swatter or Larkins?

 

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A few rambling thoughts on an NCAA men’s final that wasn’t at all times aesthetically pleasing but, in the end, provided for a pretty fun finale.

So many people will talk about Memphis’ free-throw (dis-)ability and there’s no doubt that the Tigers’ effort at the free throw line — their Achilles heel all season long — finally came back and bit them in the backside at critical times on Monday.

However, how the Tigers blew a nine-point lead in the final two minutes of a national final and then lost in overtime is only based partially on sucking at free throws.

There was a prevailing feeling through most of the game that it was Memphis that had to work really hard for its hoops, while Kansas was getting its points in the course of its offence. And that, not surprisingly, stood out in the late stages more than any other time when the Jayhawks were getting better looks and easier shots closer to the basket.

An offence that Memphis coach John Calipari referred to as “Princeton on steroids” — in reference to Pete Carill’s Ivy League O predicated on off-the-ball motion and penetrate-and-pitch tactics — suddenly bogged down into a stale and static machine, the equivalent of a 1978 El Camino with four flat tires parked in your front yard.

One entry pass and four players standing around watching their teammate try to do something — anything — to get a hoop when the Tigers needed it. With that taking place, predictably in the end the Tigers were scrambling in an offence that relies in large part on individuals’ ability to create on the fly.

On the other end, the Jayhawks were poised in the late stages and didn’t allow that nine-point deficit to stand as an overwhelming hole. They went to big man Darrell Arthur — he finished with 20 and 10 — worked their screen and roll on the wing over and over, and basically were more consistent in controlling the tempo of the game. It was a pair of up-and-down teams but the predominating feeling was that KU was getting the pace that suited it the best. In fact, the high-tempo Tigers mustered just four fast-break points all game.

The Tigers were the 339th-ranked of 341 teams in free throw shooting this season, and that’s most certainly what people will talk about in the hindsight chats around the water cooler. But Memphis’ offence was also to blame. The Tigers were the ones who had the best view to one of the biggest meltdowns in NCAA final history.

After all, they were the ones who were standing around watching it.

We The People of The Scrum, would like to formally apologize for our ruse of 2 April, 2008. We would like to apologize to the patrons of this Internet stop for our desire to have a little fun and, in the spirit of the day on the calendar, play a minor and completely harmless trick on our devoted readers.

For those of you who believed that David Larkins is the new assistant coach of the Brandon Bobcats, but were able to laugh it off in that “egg on my face” sort of way, we thank you for playing along and being good sports about it. For those of you who didn’t buy it for a second, award yourself a jujube candy for your heightened intelligence and keen ability to separate fact from fiction. There is a special place for you in our hearts.

For those of you who felt like the joke was somehow out of line, we apologize. We are sorry, indeed, that you are not able to take a joke and that your life is devoid of fun. Certainly this little charade of ours wasn’t the highest of high comedy — rarely anything we do is — but at the very least we’d hope it could be recognized for what it is: A bit of levity at a slow time of year. Some, apparently, can’t grasp that. We’re truly sorry for that fact.

No, David Larkins will not be coaching the Brandon Bobcats next season and no he will not be leaving his post at the Brandon Sun, a job he cherishes much more than the chance to be on a CIS bench. He wishes the Bobcats the best of luck next season — even without his *ahem* “assistance” — and looks forward to covering the team in depth again.

So that you’re not fooled again this time next year, allow us to give you a little heads up: Swatter will NOT be the next Prime Minister of Burma. Don’t get fooled again.

Yours in Fun,
The Scrum

*NB — The Burmese government is run by a president, not a prime minister. That’s your first hint.

An interview with Eric Fehr of the Washington Capitals; thoughts on the NHL playoff picture; Swatter and Larkins break an exclusive CIS coaching announcement; and the greatest episode of Blindside, ever.

 

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