Hello world, Jeremy here.

Thanks for stopping by. This is my first post, and I thank you for reading it. I’m sure you’re a very lovely person. I hope we can be friends.

Enough pleasantries. Let’s be honest: if you’ve come to this site expecting insightful commentary, I’m probably not the guy you’re going to get it from. When it comes to sports knowledge, David J. Larkins is superior to me in every way, shape, and form (granted, he’s six years my elder, but still). The man is an encyclopedia of facts and figures and stats – especially when it comes to the CIS, and the world of high school athletics, and other things of that nature. Sure, I can out-quote him when it comes to a discussion on “Seinfeld”, but I don’t take vast amounts of pride in this.

When it comes to written content on TheScrumBrandon.com, here’s what you can expect:

My posts will be poor. His posts will be grandiose word sculptures, like Michelangelo’s David. My posts will taste like food from McDonald’s. His posts will taste like food that won’t make you sick and kill you. My posts will be full of inane ramblings about things you couldn’t care less about. His posts will be full of analysis and thought-provoking nuggets of wisdom. You will drink his words like a man in the desert, desperate for liquid. Your souls will be quenched.

My posts will make you cringe and wish the interwebs had never been invented.

I will not lie to you, the reader. You are my friend. I like you. So here is a tidbit of truth: I don’t know very much about the CIS. I know that Carleton is really, really, really, really good. I know that Brandon owns the Great Plains division. I know that UBC always chokes in the first round of the Nationals. I know that there’s conference in Quebec comprised of one decent team and several junior high teams, yet this one decent team is constantly ranked in the Top Ten. I know that this is bizarre.

I know that most of my friends (many of whom attend universities in various Canadian cities) couldn’t care less about the CIS. Their apathy towards our country’s post-secondary scene is mind-boggling. It’s just like the kids who go to Duke and UNC, only the exact opposite, plus infinity.

And finally, I know that Carleton getting three straight bids into the CIS National Eight is the single stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Not just in the world of university sports, but in the world of all sports, anywhere, ever. It might even be the stupidest thing in the history of anything, period, though I have heard of some other pretty stupid things (like people enjoying the TV show “Friends”.) Yeah, I get that the Ravens are a good team, and yeah, I realize that they’ve won the whole thing 5 years in a row, and yeah, I understand that Dave Smart is a coaching genius, but can we all just take a few deep breaths and think about what we’re doing here? Three automatic berths. Three guaranteed trips to the National Championship. Three regular seasons that mean absolutely nothing.

Does this happen anywhere else? Would the NCAA ever, under any circumstances, grant UCLA three consecutive berths into the Final Four? Would the NBA ever, under any circumstances, hold a press conference to announce that the Suns have been penciled into the Western Conference Championship for the next five seasons? The absurdity of these situations is appalling. I know this. You know this. My three year old cousin knows this.

When I told a friend of mine about the Carleton-automatic-bid-debacle, he laughed harder than the time one of our friends crapped his pants in grade 10.

He also said, and I quote, “That is precisely why I will never follow CIS basketball.”

Well, then.

Granted, my opinion on this is topic probably unwarranted. And it’s probably wrong. And it probably makes you hate me and my family, but please, don’t hate them. They’re really nice people. And you probably shouldn’t hate me, either. My mom is like Helen Seinfeld. She really believes it’s impossible for anyone to not like me. Don’t burst her bubble.

I harbor no ill will towards the people of Carleton. The #1 person on my podcast “wish-list” is Dave Smart. The Ravens are a dynasty. They are unstoppable. But giving them an automatic bye into the Final 8 every year is stupid. Arguing otherwise is even stupider.

I apologize for the rant. I simply needed to get that off my chest. I won’t mention it ever again.

Or maybe I will. Either way.